More than support: consolatio fratrum as a means of Grace in the practice of forgiveness

 

Essay written for the 2026 Winterim Course

 

More than support: consolatio fratrum as a

means of Grace in the practice of forgiveness

 

Contemporary discussions of forgiveness often focus on the primary task of reconciliation as resolution of an interpersonal trespass between an offender and an offended party. Kaldas’ take on forgiveness in “A strange new philosophy of Forgiveness” has its main focus on addressing the individual perspective of the process of forgiveness particularly self-esteem and affirmation of the victim’s value.[1] Yet Dr. Rockenbach’s research on the lived experience of laypeople who have forgiven an interpersonal transgression offers insights to push back against such reduction. As one sees the importance participants placed in the shared congregational spaces, it points to an important theological interpretation: the lived experience of forgiveness does not occur on a purely individual basis, but benefits in a fundamental way from proximity to brothers and sisters in faith.

This essay therefore explores the congregational element to the lived experience of forgiveness. However, I don’t want just to acknowledge the social dimensions of the process of forgiveness. I argue that the mutual conversations in the congregation don’t only witness forgiveness or get affected by it—the community is a means through which the grace that enables forgiveness and consolation is delivered. The congregational setting is not only a framework, but the place where forgiveness and consolation are delivered. It is not only about emotional and psychological support to those struggling, but the body of Christ is a place where grace is bestowed to those who engage in the struggle of forgiveness and reconciliation.

I will first define  mutual conversation and consolation (mutua consolatio et allocutio fratrum) as stated in our confessions. Then I will highlight the theological grounding evident in the participants’ responses as the foundation and source for their perception and need for the life in the congregation. Lastly, I will propose this approach as a supplement to Kaldas’ take on forgiveness and bring a few insights for pastoral leadership.

I begin by defining the consolatio fratrum (Mutual conversation and consolation). Luther writes in the Smalcald articles:

God is extravagantly rich in his grace: first, through the spoken word, in which the forgiveness of sins is preached to the whole world (which is the proper function of the gospel); second, through baptism; third, through the holy Sacrament of the Altar; fourth, through the power of the keys and also through the mutual conversation and consolation of brothers and sisters. Matthew 18[:20*]: “Where two or three are gathered …” [2]. [emphasis added] 

In God’s people’s mutual conversations, God’s Grace is present and being shared and imparted.

It is important to note that the community as such does not create grace, but it is God Himself who delivers His forgiving Word through the mouths and presence of fellow believers. The consolatio fratrum does not bypass Word and Sacrament, nor does it generate grace apart from them; rather, it is a means thorough which the Word already received continues to address the believer concretely. While participants often described their experiences in relational or emotional terms, theological interpretation points to the consolatio fratrum as the underlying operative of God’s Grace. Therefore, the mutual consolation that takes place within the congregation functions not only as a place of support and acknowledgement

of one’s struggle, but it is a channel of God’s Grace to people living through the experience of forgiveness and consolation.

The starting point for this interpretation is the theological grounding evident in participants 4,5 and 7.  Faith provides the structure and clarity that informs forgiveness offered to others, moving to do the very thing that otherwise they wouldn’t have done.  What we see in their lived experience is that forgiveness flows from faith, and faith is grounded in God’s Word. 

This theological foundation is evidenced by the participants as they referred to Christ’s forgiveness offered to them as the empowering factor that drove their desire to forgive the person who sinned against them. Participant 4, who described a situation in which a friend sinned against her by having an inappropriate emotional relationship with her husband replied to the question, “What elements of your faith were very important to be able to forgive?” by saying: “ Well it starts with the relationship with Christ and what he did on the cross, that’s always… We’ve been saved to serve others. We can serve by forgiving.” Participant 5, who forgave his father who had burned down the family house while under the influence of alcohol defined forgiveness in his words “I think about me being forgiven, knowing that I’m forgiven, and knowing that loving God and serving others, I will be in heaven. So when you think about it, and I’ve talked about it with other people, God gave His Son for me.” And participant 7 also talked about how the forgiveness given by Christ moved him to forgive a former girlfriend who refused to discuss their rather abrupt breakup:

“A big thing that’s helped me, especially recently is … looking at Christ’s example of forgiveness and his action that he took of going to the cross. Then I think about some of the things that I’ve done, sins I commit against Christ, who went to the cross, all the people that he died for and how He was rejected; … and how He still forgives. He still went to the cross, and that’s been something that has been a real motivation or comfort, I guess. If Christ can do that for everyone, and He’s with me, He loves me, and He loves her too just as much then it’s kind of time for me to swallow my pride and show forgiveness to her like Christ did for me and other people.”

In their own words, participants articulate the Theological foundation as the source and the centre of the lived experience of forgiving an interpersonal transgression.

This connects with biblical teaching, as in Ephesians 5, where Christians are encouraged to “be imitators of God, as beloved children” (Ephesians 5:1). And just one verse before, Paul reminds the Ephesians to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). This recommendation is echoed in the words of Participant 4, when asked about whether she would have been able to forgive without her faith and beliefs. S She was adamant, especially when talking with friends who could not understand why she would want to speak with the other person. She felt she had no choice but to offer forgiveness. In her words, “It’s the right thing to do”.  

This theological foundation of the participants is the support for their process of forgiveness within the community of believers.  Here is where we see that the mutual consolation of those in the family of faith delivers what God’s Word promises. While participants did not use such theological wording, in different ways they reflected the truth that they viewed the Congregation and the larger family of faith as a place they needed and desired to be in the process of forgiveness and consolation.  Participant 4 noted that. “I talked to two male pastors, a male counselor, and then obviously all the time with my husband and I just didn’t know what girlfriends to talk to. They were there and were very supportive.” And Participant 7 manifested the desire to move from verbal forgiveness toward active reconciliation arose from the desire to remain active in his spiritual and social community. “I knew that going forward we were still going to be in the same places and have a lot of the same friends, and wanting to still be in the bible study group where we’re at... I wasn’t going to be able to do anything about the fact that she’s still going to be in these places and social settings.”  Theological interpretation of their articulation points to Luther's assertion in the Smalcald Articles that God delivers grace not only through Word and Sacrament, but 'also through the mutual conversation and consolation of brothers and sisters. In all those cases, the consolatio fratrum is not only a framework for grace, but it is the place where Grace is delivered.

This shows that conversations grounded in faith among brothers and sisters in faith are not just "venting" or another form of social support. They are a means through which God delivers forgiveness and consolation. Grace and support provided by a Christian community is not shown only in the teaching of Word and ministering of the Sacraments, but also in the mutual consolation of the brothers. In cases where hurt, forgiveness, healing and reconciliation are involved, that becomes even more evident. The congregation can offer spaces not only for Biblical teaching and learning, but also to be a welcoming place for those hurting where consolation and healing are not only mentioned or desired but effectively delivered.

The articulation of the mutual conversation as a means of Grace in this essay supplements Kaldas articulation. His assessment of Chrysostom's framework provides an important theological response to contemporary objections against unconditional forgiveness. He presents Chrysostom's advocacy well for unconditional forgiveness, "Chrysostom firmly believes that Christians ought to forgive even those who have not apologized... The height of moral wisdom, for Chrysostom, is to rid ourselves of anger and resentment before our enemies make any attempt at reconciliation."[3]. Also, when he points out  that "When we do not resent those who wrong us, we manifest or enact our eschatological value; we show that our self-esteem is not rooted in this life, but that of the coming age."[4] Our personal value is not diminished but strengthened by practicing forgiveness even when repentance is not present. However, his analysis focuses primarily on the individual forgiver's internal conviction and dignity. While the point is well made, it is also focused on personal perception and action. The congregational dimension of how such forgiveness is practiced and sustained within the lived experience of Christian communities enriches the topic.

The mutual conversation is not mere social support, but a means through which God delivers strength, patience, and perseverance in forgiveness. This understanding emerges across multiple narratives, even when articulated differently. While some participants framed forgiveness primarily in terms of emotional release or personal healing, others spoke of it in the language of obligation and responsibility, reflecting their awareness of forgiveness as a constitutive feature of Christian life. Participant 7, for instance, described how prayer and reflection on Christ’s example gradually reshaped his response to ongoing proximity with his former partner: “A big thing that’s helped me, especially recently is praying about it and then looking at Christ’s example of forgiveness and his action that he took of going to the cross.” Similarly, Participant 5 grounded his act of forgiveness in his understanding of God’s prior forgiveness, explaining that his willingness to forgive his father flowed from the conviction that “God gave His Son for me,” a reality that re-framed how he viewed even grievous wrongdoing. Although these participants employ the language of duty in ways that do not map neatly onto a strict Law-and-Gospel formulation, their testimonies nonetheless underscore the decisive role of Scripture in shaping the practice of forgiveness. Across these accounts, forgiveness is not portrayed as a moral achievement done by the person, but as a response compelled by the preceding and ongoing forgiveness of God, through prayer, Scripture, and life within the Christian community.

But, as a means of Grace, is mutual consolation and conversation a spiritual, invisible reality only? Or are there some concrete ways in which it can be witnessed? While none of them bring about God’s Grace and forgiveness, these can be concrete ways of seeing it in practice:

Accountability - Participant 7 described how friends eventually confronted him directly, urging him to initiate a necessary conversation. This moment of fraternal correction may be seen not merely practical advice but also as the means through which God moved him toward reconciliation.

Continued Presence - The shared spaces of congregational life, Bible study, and social relationships created what might be called “inescapable proximity.” This was not coercive but formative, holding him within the sphere of grace as forgiveness continued to take shape.

Listening - Participant 4 described the relief of having her pain heard and validated without being amplified or weaponized. This listening created space for healing rather than escalation, allowing forgiveness to grow without denying the reality of harm.

Finally, the interpretation of this data points to important directions in Pastoral leadership. First, pastors can be intentional in teaching their congregation about mutual consolation not only as a support group, but as means of grace. The lived experience within the congregation delivers grace, healing and peace from the Holy Spirit through God’s Word. This points to a second aspect: the role of the congregation in imparting forgiveness and consolation. Even the most ordinary conversation among brothers and sisters in faith when grounded in the Word is a vehicle of God’s transforming power, which gives strength on the path of forgiveness and reconciliation. And third, that forgiveness is an ongoing practice to be cultivated in the midst of the family of faith.

In conclusion, the body of Christ is not just a place for “venting”, Welcome and support. It is also, and especially, the very place where God’s Grace, forgiveness and consolation comes to the heart of the believers. Within the life of the church, forgiveness is not merely taught or proclaimed; it is practiced, sustained, and embodied through the mutual conversation and consolation of brothers and sisters. The theological interpretation of the participants’ experiences points to the fact that God is extravagantly rich in His grace and that He pours out that grace not only through Word and Sacrament, but also through the presence of His people with one another. The lived experience of forgiving an interpersonal transgression is a very personal one. Yet it does not to be lived in isolation; it can benefit greatly from life withing the congregation - a means through which the grace that enables forgiveness and consolation is delivered.

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[1] Samuel Kaldas, "A 'Strange New Philosophy' of Forgiveness: Insights from St. John Chrysostom on Forgiving the Unrepentant," St Vladimir's Theological Quarterly 63, no. 3 (2019): 271

[2] Martin Luther, "The Smalcald Articles," Part III, Article 4, in The Book of Concord, ed. Paul McCain et al. (St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 2005), accessed January 27, 2025, https://bookofconcord.cph.org/.

[3] Kaldas, "Strange New Philosophy," 270

[4] Kaldas, "Strange New Philosophy," 272.